Marco......Hey Marco....Are you there, Marco...it's me, your blog!

Okay, so. It's October. I hope that is not a surprise for most of you, but it was for me. Especially when I now look at the calendar and realize that October will soon be November. And when I look out the window and see white puffy bits falling in a blustery fashion to the ground. What in the heckfire happened to the fall? And more to the point, what in the heckfire happened to the blogger responsible for this sadly neglected , pobre blog? Well, to be brief, I was consumed by paper. Yes, paper. Paper ate me. And it ate me whole! Many times over! How can paper eat me, you might wonder...well, for those of you who don't know, I'm now a Toronto-ian, and part of a marketing PhD program. I've learned a number of valuable lessons and experienced a variety of side-effects of being part of this new intellectual clan. I want to share them with you, just in case one of you gentle readers is considering returning to school in the higher education system. So now I present to you, in no particular order, the top ten knowledge nuggats I've learned since being in a PhD program:
(1) You are now an enemy to the environment because you are always printing off 20 page articles in large quantities, so any and all efforts to go "Green" are futile. Sorry, friend.
(2) You will be the proud owner of 4 pairs of glasses because you will go blind at an exponential rate.
(3) The highlight of your days are your five minute snack break (frozen blueberries, blackberries and raspberries - yum!) and you realize you have come full circle to your pre-school self, where the day is divided into sections by the much needed and desired snack breaks. Suddenly you will feel very young again. And very old. This will cause a headache. Take 2 IBProfen with your snack and forge ahead with the homework, because time is up!
(4) You now understand and can use in a somewhat intelligent fashion the words ontology, epistemology, axiology, phenomenology, existentialism...and you feel special. You then realize how few people there are in the world who care that you know and use those words on a regular basis. Suddenly you feel alone. So very alone.
(5) Exercise and legitimate free time are things of the past. Instead, you are constantly plagued with thoughts of things you SHOULD be doing, and those thoughts trump the things you'd RATHER be doing.
(6) PhD programs train you to be critical of other PhD professor's written work that has been published in high-quality, much-respected journals. Your illusions of these professor's greatness is dashed and you feel like you can be equals in the field once you graduate. Then you realize as soon as you publish, others will do the exact same thing to you. Say hello to the joys of peer review.
(7) You start having wild fantasies about the Matrix being real, so that you can jump down the rabbit hole, wake up to the "real" world, and have a somewhat questionable needle apparatus plugged into you and download all the books sitting on your bookshelf. The concept of skimming is suddenly a lifesaver. As is the 4 month check-out policy for the library.
(8) You get used to having a mind-numbing headache everynight, to the point where if you don't have it, you start to wonder if something is wrong and you need to do more reading before bed.
(9) You get excited when you only have to read an article twice to understand more or less what the authors are talking about. Small victories are suddenly precious and rare.
(10) Your life becomes a marathon - physically, emotionally, mentally. Estimated time of completing the marathon? Four years, eight months, five days, three hours, seven minutes. *sigh* And that doesn't seem like enough time.

So, there you have it, blogging world. Life is never easy, and with a new phase beginning, there are always growing pains. It's been a rough couple of months, and to be perfectly honest, blogging hasn't been the highest priority, nor has it been something that I've wanted to do. Sometimes you just need a bit of time before you start opening up about experiences you are having. Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze more blog time in the next while so I can keep y'all posted. But, I'm tired of making empty promises to my blog, so I can only promise to try. And try I will. Cheerio!

Bursting the Eardrums

So, I have a confession to make. I went to the American Idol Live concert tonight at the 'E' Center. WOW. I have never seen so many blonde itty-bitty-teenie-boppers in my life! And yes, those girls have got some lung power. An hour and a half after we left the arena, my ears are still ringing. It was incredible the amount of deafening noise 10,000 underaged tweeners can make. The best part was that they were so predictably unpredictable. At the mere mention of David Archuleta (affectionately known as Archie to the Idolers), or seeing his face for .024 seconds on a video clip, and they all went into synchronized screaming. I kid not - you couldn't hear the 100,000 amps blasted the drum beat over the amount of ear-splitting noise that the audience created. I imagine it's hard to maintain a healthy perspective on life when you have 10,000 girls ready to marry you...when they...and you....become of age.

All in all, it was an enjoyable evening. I wish I could have heard the music a bit better, but I enjoyed it for the most part. Michael Johns, Brooke White, and Archie were my fav's, just because you could hear what they were singing. David Cook was David Cook. As he was singing and strutting his manly guitar slinging strut up there, all I could think of was that Idol finally picked someone who was just plain "cool" as the winner. Kelly Clarkson, Reuben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin........and David. Yeah. He stands out in the coolness factor.

Now the question that needs to be answered: "Were I ten years younger, would I have been part of the screaming set wearing my "David would vote for ME" t-shirt? I hope I know the answer to that!

It's Official! I can be Canadian....well. Sort of.

I've been waiting to get my temporary student visa information back from the Canadian Consulate in Seattle. Incredibly nice chaps, let me tell you. They took my $125 non-refundable Canadian funds bank draft, my forty-two official forms, bank statements, my passport, and letter from York saying that I was indeed accepted to study at the university, and what did I get in return? A happy little envelope with my passport, a receipt for said $125 non-refundable Canadian funds bank draft, and a letter that says at the very top in big, bold, capital letters, and I quote: "YOU MUST SHOW THIS LETTER TO A CANADA CUSTOMS OFFICIAL WHEN YOU FIRST ARRIVE IN CANADA." Ha. "Welcome to the country" I suppose is the sub-text in very very small, minute print. :) But this is exciting because.....yes. I can go. They will let me in to their country and call me one of their temporary own. Next step is getting Pepper Jane to come with me! (That would be my 2004 Ford Escape) As it turns out, they didn't do anything to my passport, but I do get the opportunity to become close friends with an Immigration officer at the border. Hopefully they'll crack a joke with me, because in tense situations, I tend to go just a smidge quippy. I think that could be an interesting day before me.

Life Experience

So I've been MIA for a while. And yes, that's an overstatement. But such is life, and such has been my life, so let's all shake hands, do the hokey pokey, turn ourselves around, and get this blog going again. Whoa. Dejavu. This must have happened before in my previous blogging life!

Very quickly to give the general update: I'm moving to Toronto in a little over a month to start my PhD program. Yes, that's Toronto, Canada. I shall be Canadian in a few short weeks. And hopefully my car will become Canadian with me (who knew it would almost be harder to import my car than myself???). So I'm in the middle of the preparation tempest. And by tempest, I mean chaos that generally resembles a cyclone in my room. Every day I'm feeling the heebies because I did the exact same thing when I went on my mission. It's not fun trying to pack your life up into a few small boxes that will fit in the cheapest U-Haul trailer and coming to terms with the fact that your Love-sac and rocking chair probably won't make the cut. *sniff sniff* But, the saving grace? My Kitchen-Aid will! Long-live my cookie dough fettish!

I went for a hike yesterday with my aunt and my mother. I loved getting up in the mountains, very quickly becoming dusty and a little sweaty, and hiking amongst the chirping, peppy birds and gorgeously blooming wild flowers. I might have to go again, and soon - and I recommend all go and become one with nature at least once this week! It quiets the soul in a way that the hustle and bustle of suburban life cannot. While on the hike, my aunt asked us a question: "If you could have any experience in the world, what would it be?" After the automatic responses of family, kids, career (which, don't get me wrong - go team on those!) ran through my mind, I was like...HMM. What would I do? My mom answered a kayaking trip for a week. I would totally go with her, kayak blisters and all. My aunt answered climbing K2. I probably wouldn't do that. Going up a mountain just doesn't appeal to me. It's great to accomplish something and look down on the creations of the world, but....if my life can potentially be in peril, I probably won't attempt it. So, she can do that with her hubby. I'll look at their pictures after.

My answer that came to the surface after weeding through those first ones? I would Love, LOVE, love, LOve, loVE to play the part of Elphaba on the West End in London. My answer cracked me up, because quite honestly, I had never thought about it before, but when I said it outloud, I knew it was true. I would adore being able to be part of a play, with a British accent, an adorable co-star who can serenade me until the cows stop mooing, and having the ability to sing my heart out and have it appreciated by others. And in London? Yeah. Well. Let's just say I've found my true love in life. Add that to the fact that I absolutely am enchanted with "Wicked" and the part of Elphaba in particular, and it's a done deal for my dream experience.

I asked my aunt what our answers revealed about us. My auntie said my mom's showed that she wanted to be away from the world and at peace. 'Tis true, because when you're on the water, it's just you. My aunt's showed that she loves and challenge and pushing herself to her limits and seeing those accomplishments. Mine? That I want fame and recognition. Haha. Maybe it's true, but I'd like to think that my dream experience shows how I love the arts and appreciate the opportunity to immerse one's self in the telling of a story. Plus, I'm a spazz. And I like London. Hello. That's a given. And a British accent? I do it without thinking as it is! So, fame and recognition aside, I would love to be able to excel at something artistic and be able to express it. Maybe the applause wouldn't be so bad either............

So what would your dream experience be? And what does that show about you? Just a fun thought to start the week off! Cheerio!

Starbucks and Sugar Cookies

So, what a week it has been! I have been wanting to blog oh so very much. But, unfortunately for me, the weather patterns haven’t permitted it. You remember my super weather barometer power? Oh yes. They struck again this week. More like struck me down. We’re on Day 3 now of mental impairment status and I hope it will get better before I even begin to consider a Day 4…..or 5. Or heaven forbid 6. It’s actually quite entertaining – more so to be around me, I think, because I can’t remember anything. For example, yesterday in the Arby’s drive through, I paid with my debit card. I put the card back down. A minute later, I asked my brother – “Did I pay already?” He looked at me a little funny…that’s kind of where I’m at mentally. I don’t even have a one-track mind! I’m on a quarter of a track. Or a broken track. A snowed in track? I’m all befuddled, I tell you. And to think I made fun of my mom when she would ask me if she had taken IBProfen or just thought about it. Silly me.

So this last week was most eventful. First, let’s start with the most recent. Happy Belated Valentine’s Day to all! I hope you all had smashingly great V-days. Mine was quite entertaining. I made sugar cookies with frosting for the engineers I work with – I think I was the only one who remembered it was V-day. I just hope they remembered for their wives’ sakes! Maybe my cookies were the gentle nudge they needed. Anyway, work was work. Can’t get around that 8-5 gig. And then I went to pick up my brother from work and we went in search of good food. We both wanted sandwiches or some sort, so we went to the Toaster Oven. Um, no. They didn’t even have fries. Not cool. So we went to Arby’s, where I had my forgettable forgetfulness moment. We jetted back home, where we set up camp to watch “What I Like About You” and eat our deliciously good curly fries and sandwiches. Then I get a phone call from HRH to set up our tea time at this adorable newish store near our homes. It’s seriously a little girl’s play heaven, complete with a bakery and tea! So of course, with no boyfriend to take up my time, what would be a better use than drinking afternoon tea with an amazing friend in a pink, poofy heaven? Perfect! Almost! They close at 6:00! And darn it, HRH was still in Provo at 5:40. Well, our pink, poofy heaven will have to wait. We readjusted plans and went to Starbucks where I had this YUMMY Caramel Apple Spice drink. Oh. My. Divine. Seriously, it was like drinking apple crumb cake and I was in taste-bud bliss. I definitely recommend it. I mean, I had visions of myself frequenting Starbucks now. Me. Becoming a Starbuckian. All for Caramel Apple Spice. Okay, moving on because no one should swoon over their beverage this much. Anyway, we chatted about our days and decided that we absolutely had to watch an edited “Love Actually.” My cousin has it, but she lives about a half-hour away and we would have to steal her ClearPlay, too. So we settled for Move Option B: whatever else I had at my house. HRH went to get herself some real food (well, I don’t know if you can count Panda Express as real food) and I went home, quickly frosted cookies, and became the Cookie Cupid, delivering cookies to my aunt and uncle, and a friend my mom usually takes flowers to, but because my mom is in CALIFORNIA (SO. JEALOUS.) right now, I took cookies in her place. Then I raced back to the house, where HRH had let herself in and eaten her food (I love that we can do that here), and we settled in to decide the movie. This is an important decision. I mean, it’s V-day. What should we watch? Our memories will hinge on this movie? We narrowed it down to four options: Dear Frankie (Gerard!!!), Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, Step Up, and She’s the Man. Um, yes, the latter two have something in common – and that would be Channing Tatum. His acting is a little sketchy, but…um….nobody cares. For good reason! We hemmed and hawed, weighed our options, analyzed the guy factors, and decided on She’s the Man. Excellent choice. I love that movie and every time I watch it, I love it more. Or maybe that should be, I love HIM more. *Sigh* He is what V-Day dreams are made of. Haha. Anyway, it was a most enjoyable evening (thank you HRH!) and I ended the day in my bed, my room illuminated with twinkle lights, and watching an episode of Gilmore Girls. Can a day be any better than that? Nah, I don’t think so. At least not for me. So, Happy V-day to you all – I hope your days were as good as mine! And let me say, it was not hard to beat last year’s V-day. I was in Argentina and spent the rainy day stuck in a house with 16 other girls. Yeah. This one definitely wins.

Okay, my brain is swiftly shutting down. Let me make a list of other things to blog about to remind myself later tonight or tomorrow when I recommence with this blogging:

1) The CURSED Saturday
2) Winter White Outs
3) The Sad Sunday
4) Alone, Doing Laundry, and Lovin’ It – A Rory Friday Night

Be good, be happy, and be ready for my next blogs! They're coming! (wow - that was not meant to sound ominous...)

xoxo - LADYBUG. (Yup - LB beat out Half-Pint).

And my new nickname is...

So, I'm catching up on old emails and checking out websites for the latest political poll results and entertainment news (I lead a very small life), and I come across this section on ABC's website - Lost Nicknames - and can I say, WOW. I'm easily entertained. Because this made me giggle for like five minutes. Now, if any of you have watched the show Lost, you'll know there is this surly, quippy, and devilishly man-handsome beach castaway named Sawyer. (SEE EXHIBIT A ----------->)

Real name James Ford. Assumed name is Sawyer. Anyway, his backstory as to how he attached himself to his nickname is quite unfortunate and somewhat disturbing - but he takes his nicknaming talent and applies it to the castaways. Kate is no longer Kate, but Freckles. The list goes on. You catch my drift. Anyway, he was one of the reasons why I watched this show first season (I've since "Lost" my interest - I mean, they killed off Charlie by drowning him. Uncool. Supremely uncool. Erego I rebel.). And now ABC is catching on to the fact that his nicknames are awesome, so they've made a little program that generates nicknames for you, signed *heart* Sawyer. And he looks all "come hither", too. Gotta love marketing. The three questions are great - name, physical appearance, and mental capability. And poof! You get a nickname! The most hilarious part is that you put in the same information every time, and every time you get a new nickname. It's basically NickName Central! Hurray!

See, I've had this problem in life. I name other people things. I name inanimate objects things (my car? Pickle Jean). But only one person has come up with a nickname that stuck, and that's my aunt, and heaven forbid I ever say what that nickname is. Sorry, folks. Learn to live with the suspense, because I'm not saying a word! So, when I came to this website, I realized- "HUZZAH! I can have a nickname straight from a reliable source!" My logic isn't always logical, okay? After running through the Sawyer Mill a few times, I came up with some good ones and want to put it to your vote as to which one should stick. You be the judge! Or come up with your own and let me know!

The choices are (and I kid you not):

1. Captain Lou Albino

2. Avalanche

3. Ladybug

4. Einstein

5. Half-Pint

I love the Captain Lou Albino - and that's because I'm the Queen of Nonsense, and that is most definitely nonsense. So help, bloggers! Name me!

Comfort Blogging

Okay, the need for blogging has arisen because snow is falling ONCE AGAIN outside my office window. Why that means it is blogging time, I don't know. Maybe it's because blogging is akin to comfort food – and there is no greater need for comfort food than when it is snowing outside and you can't do a blasted thing to stop it. Drat. And I needed to get my windshield wipers replaced. Let's hope I make it home in one piece! So, chickadees, let's see what's happened this week? Answer— not much! I was totally stoked to watch Northanger Abbey on Sunday (thank you PBS – and BBC – and Viewers Like You that make it possible!). I've never read Northanger Abbey. I tried, but swiftly found another book to draw my attention away from it. Cause of the lack of interest is unknown. I didn't know who the hero was in the story, nor even basic plot points. Yes, dear friends, I am sad to say that my Austen knowledge had a hole in it. But, thanks to the cliffnotes adaptation shown last Sunday, I now know the frivolity and insensibility of Catherine Morland, the adorableness of Mr. Tilney (Henry, as he is called by all close acquaintances, of which I count myself these days), and the evil influences of the Thorpes and General Tilney. This adaptation was light-hearted, to-the-point, and engaging. Not to mention, once again, the adorable factor provided in abundance of Mr. Henry Tilney, which made the viewing experience quite delightful. The only distracting part of this entire story was how young Ms. Morland appeared in some scenes. To find her being wooed by a 26 year old was somewhat distressing, no matter how accurate that is with the book. Oh, and then there was the horrible ape-ishness of Mr. Thorpe. Thank heavens she did not end up with him. I would have been forced to despise this adaptation if it were otherwise. To all those who have not seen this, you must. I repeat, you must. And if you say you musn't, well. I don't think we should be speaking on the subject again in the future. I might lose my self-composure.

Haha. I love Austen because her novels make me feel literary, old-fashioned, and in need of a cup of good, strong chamomile tea. I hope I'm not the only one with this reaction. To make matters worse for me, I have immersed myself in Dickens. I'm currently reading Bleak House and am thoroughly engrossed in the world of Esther, Mr. Guppy, and Mr. Jarndyce. Every day at lunch I am encountering a new, quirky, truly-Dickens character that just makes me relish in the worlds he creates through his words. Thus far, I recommend the novel. But I'm only 130+ pages into the 800+ page novel. More reactions to follow when I can provide them. Not only am I reading Bleak House, but I have been watching "Our Mutual Friend," a close-to 6 hour adaptation of the Dickens novel. Once again, Dickens creates an intricate world of characters that are intertwined in ways that only leave you confused for the first hour and then slowly enlighten you as you progress into the story. Most of the characters in this story are crazy, but when there are cute moments, they are dang cute. Okay, so, there is the all-to-frequent dead body found in a river and scheming and craziness, but….I liked this story. I might have to read it after Bleak House. I would detail the storyline for you, but…trust me when I say that there are no summaries on the backs of Dickens' books because the summaries just would not do the stories justice. Erego, rent it!

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Shifting gears -- so, here's a question that I've pondered with a couple of friends this week: do you need to date in order to feel you have worth? Let me give some background. One of my friends and I discussed the need for real men in the world – ones that are gentlemen. Ones who call you just because they want to talk to you. Ones that want to be around you and let you know it. Ones that open the car door and bring you a rose just because. Ones that will communicate face-to-face, rather than just text, hanging out, and Facebook message. He wants to be one of those guys, and in talking with him, I realized how few of that breed I have met in my life. And then I decided that I want to wait for one of those to come along! So, do I need to date whoever, whenever, just in order to feel my worth? I feel like in our single's ward, that is what they are trying to tell us: dating determines your worth – at least for us girls, that is. For example, the survey died. FINALLY. But now it's this Cinderella activity that in essence sets us up with guys in the ward to go out to dinner and play at the Bishop's house on Wii systems - all determined by a shoe that we give to the presidency and the guys pick. Hmm. HMMMMM. Once again, it's nice they want us to mingle. But must it be forced? And contrived?

I have not dated very much in my life. Shocking, isn't it. So does that make me less of a person or somehow broken and undesirable? Does my worth directly tie in to how many dates I have had over the years? I sure hope not. I mean, it is nice to have attention paid to you in the form of a voluntarily-solicited date, don't get me wrong. But do I need to have dating activities and be arranged a date for a single's ward activity just to say that I have been on a date this week? Maybe I'm old-fashioned. Maybe I'm before my time. I don't know. But I've always been of the opinion that if I know I am not attracted to and/or interested in a guy, I will not go on a date with him. It's a waste of his time and my time and his money, and I for one will not stand for frivolous dating just because I "should" date. I think what this all boils down to is that I am destined to be an old maid. At least for a while. Thoughts? Reactions? Suggestions? Advice?

On other topics- so, I found this adorable European jacket. No, it's not from Europe, but I will definitely be wearing it to Europe! It's black with big, shiny black buttons down the front and white trim around the collar and sleeves. Oh heavens, call me Holly Golightly because I feel like I should be breakfasting at Tiffany's in that jacket. I'm still hunting for the perfect travel shoe. I'm a fan of slip-on's, but I think with the potential for rain, they need to be as weather-proof as possible. While still being adorable and European, of course. If you know of any, please let me know!

Wow – just found out Heath Ledger died. Possible drug over-dose. What is with this fatal trend? First Brad Renfro, then Heath Ledger. All my childhood movie star crushes are dropping like flies in unexpected, tragic ways. I think I need to go home and watch 10 Things I Hate About You. Oh wait – I can't. I'm going to see 27 Dresses. Maybe that will lift my spirits and make me forget the moisture that is STILL falling from the sky. Grrr.

Finally, before I jet because this is way too long even in a word document, I want to thank all y'all for reading my blog. I write it for me, but I love knowing that there are the three or four of you that keep encouraging me to write and express myself. And I think you know who you are. So enjoy this Tuesday, my blogging friends, and drive slowly if you are in the greater Utah valley area. I know I will! Bless the day 4-wheel drive was invented!