I'm lying here in bed, wrapped up in my new fuzzy pink blanket, with my rice bag warming my back, and thinking to myself, "Self - what is worse than a headcold?" Ooh. That's tough to beat. I was talking to my boss today about headcolds. I made the following observation: "Migraines I can handle. Stomach flu I can handle. Other types of pain that come once a month I can handle. But headcolds? Forget it. Those knock me down, out, flat on my back, begging for mercy." I can't stand headcolds. I mean, you get all stuffed up to where when you say, "Good Morning, Mom!" it comes out a sorry "Good bornin, bob." Then you blow your nose. A thousand times. And your nose suddenly becomes the reason why Santa's recruiters are on the phone, asking for your availability on Christmas Eve and if you are terrified of heights. Oh, yes. Crying is nothing compared to the redness my nose exhibits when it gets all stuffed up. And then there's the fuzzy head. Not like a Chia Head fuzzy, but you feel like you're floating in a very funny, not quite-so-real cloud of existence. And you know that no one else is. And then your eyes feel like they each have forty-two bricks on them, so it's a struggle just to keep them open every minute of the day. And so you take Nyquil. Or Dayquil. Or Theraflu. Or my Grandma's Indian Tonic juice thing (oh my heavens, it consists of the following: sugar-free apple cider - hot - with tabasco sauce, minced garlic, pepper flakes, paprika, cumin, lemon juice...it burns everything you have in your body, so it should burn out the infected cells. At least that's my Grams' logic). But headcolds are stubborn and never go away in a timely fashion. They hang on and make you have 4 ugly days in a row. Oof.
And so, bloggers - I ask you:
What is worse than a headcold?????
Here are some things I came up with:
1 - The writer's guild strike. I'm sorry. Kiss and make up so that we can get back to our nighttime entertainment routines!
2- Black ice on roads while it's snowing. *shudder*
3- Single's Ward Dating Surveys (see below entry for further horrifying details)
4- Gerard Butler dying in yet another film
5- Getting rejected from all my PhD programs! Don't even go there....
6- Turning 25. Once again, enough said.
7- Having to plan your high school reunions. I'm sorry, but that's just not gonna happen!
8- Having the headcold on a Friday night. When you have to write your admissions essay.
9- Being the last one at work on Friday because you are on hourly pay - and they are not.
10 -Brussell sprouts. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW.
11 - Microsoft Word's Autoformatter. DEVIL FEATURE!!!!
K - your turn!
2 comments:
Sounds like Gram's got her own version of chemo.
What's worse? Hmmm... Forgetting yourself because you're so caught up in others. And then you really aren't helping them because you've lost your foundation.
Is that too abstract?
What is worse than a headcold-
The loud guy in the cowboy hat, pack of Marlboro's in his shir pocket talking with all of his friends across the aisle in an airplane so small that you can't stand up straight. Yeah, he sat next to me on my recent flight home from Long Beach. I could hear him in the airport lobby, and I was hoping he wasn't on my flight. But then he stood up when they called my gate... and then he sat down next to me. I was at the window, he was in the aisle. Biggest bummer of my life to date.
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